I know.  I know.  All da dumb jokes:
No flies on you, ha ha,
and da ones about what do I do wit all
doze extwa legs in bed.  Well, dat's funny yeah.
But you twy being
SPIDERMAN for a month or two.  Go ahead.

You get doze cwazy calls fwom da
Gubbener askin you to twap some booglar who's
only twying to wip off color T.V. sets.
Now, what do I cawre about T.V. sets?
But I pull on da suit, da stinkin suit,
wit da sucker cups on da fingers,
and get my wopes and wittle bundle of
equipment and den I go flying like cwazy
acwoss da town fwom woof top to woof top.

Till der he is.  Some poor dumb color T.V. slob
and I fall on him and we westle a widdle
until I get him all woped.  So big deal.

You tink when you SPIDERMAN
der's sometin big going to happen to you.
Well, I tell you what.  It don't happen dat way.
Nuttin happens.  Gubbener calls, I go.
Bwing him to powice, Gubbener calls again,
like dat over and over.

I tink I twy sometin diffunt.  I tink I twy
sometin excitin like wacing cawrs.  Sometin to make
my heart beat at a difwent wate.
But den you just can't quit being sometin like
SPIDERMAN.
You SPIDERMAN for life.  Fowever.  I can't even
buin my suit.  It won't buin.  It's fwame wesistent.
So maybe dat's youwr pwoblem too, who knows.
Maybe dat's da whole pwoblem wif evwytin.
Nobody can buin der suits, dey all fwame wesistent.
Who knows?

loneliness is killing me inside
dying and crying and begging for someone
loneliness is all that's here
it's quiet and sad and empty here
and loneliness is killing me inside

engulfed in a fiery inferno
he has nowhere to run

he can cover his eyes
and hope for the best

try his damn hardest
beg for the end to come

but scared and hurt
and trapped and angry

all he can do is cry in anger
in pain, in terror

engulfed in a fiery inferno
he hasn't yet learned to barrel roll

(it's all he can do)
(duck and cover)

Looks as if I've stepped where I don't necessarily belong.
But at the same time... playing defense is the only thing I'm good for...
I've reached out and spoken, with the frailty and the fear--
I've held my tongue of meaner words, reserved for meaner days--
I've stepped somewhere I don't belong, and I've only tried to help.
I've only tried to understand, I've only toed the line.
I'm only confused and lost (as usual), and all that's there is time.

So watch the two fight silently, saying not a word to the other--
But trading angry, broken thoughts,
One's moved on and the other's stuck,
And I'm watching endlessly.

I've stepped where I have never belonged,
Playing defense with no attacks.

I'm taking it into my own hands
going where I want
doing as I know I have to
won't let anyone tell me no
won't let anyone push me down
or throw me around
or tell me what to do
or where to go
I've gotten into the habit of ignoring...
everyone
anyway.

I won't win approval to people who matter,
no matter how much I want it.

I can only take control of what's still there
what's still in control

no one can tell me what I'm going to do,
because I've stopped listening,
ever since it became my fault.
I've stopped listening.
I'm ignoring all of you.

So you''ll throw a few rocks,
say a few words
flash some angry eyes,

but I've stopped listening.
I realized I shouldn't care, anyway.
so I'll do what I want.
go where I want.

this is a letter to...
my family.
my school.
my friends.
my "friends."
my teachers.
my enemies.
I've decided I don't need you,
since you aren't going to help anyway.

much love, much hate
~a monster ♥